Let’s Be Neutral

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I really don’t like overly friendly people. I do like friendly people, I like nice people, I think being nice is a very important part of being a person. But there are some people who are much too friendly.

I want to be nice, I want to show people respect and love. The problem with that though is that overly friendly people take advantage of you being nice. And they think oh this person is my friend and I can rant about my life with them. No.. I am being nice, I am showing you respect. But we are not friends, I do not want to stay for ten more minutes then I need to at work to hear about your home life. I am glad when you are doing good but I don’t need to hear all these details about it.

I wish sooo much that it was socially acceptable to just tell someone that you feel neutral about them. I have no problem with you but I also don’t really want to be friends with you. I want to say hi and bye and smile at each other, I don’t want to chit chat though. I wish people didn’t take that personally, it is not personal. I just have my own life to worry about and don’t need to hear about yours when we’re just like coworkers.

I hate it when people just can’t get a hint. I hate it when people think because you don’t want to be friends that you for some reason need to be enemies. No, I am not your enemy, I have zero problem with you. I just don’t like chitchat, I don’t like hearing a bunch of things that I don’t care about. And it’s not mean that I don’t care, it’s your life, we aren’t close, I don’t need to hear all about it. Can’t we just say hi and smile and just part ways.

Then when this overly friendly person starts to fully annoy you it is so hard. You have to try so hard to be friendly because for some reason this person thinks you are on hugging terms. No, just leave me alone, just tell your day to someone else. I just want to worry about my day and my actually friends, again no offense, we’re just acquaintances, can’t we just not chitchat.

And honestly when I meet people like this they seem to be people who usually just have a lot going on. And maybe they are late for work sometimes because of life circumstances. And you are upset because them being late for work so much affects your life negatively and is very aggravating. Then they come in all friendly apologizing a thousand times for what happened. Explaining all the reasons and how hard it was for them. Making you as the nice person feel obligated to say that it’s ok and your sorry for them. I am so awkward in that moment I do not know what else to say. But I am so annoyed, I hate hearing the reasons\excuses and you over explaining yourself a thousand times. No, It’s not ok, I do not feel sorry for you.

I do not want to hear every detail of all these life things that happened that day. I want to say to you that I want to be neutral. I want there to be no beef, no problem, but also no chitchat. Can we not just exist as separate humans who can just be neutral about each other. I need to be less friendly. I don’t want this as my life. I don’t want to feel obligated to be nice to people so much.

I want to respect people but I also want to be respected. And I don’t feel respected when you waste my time. Maybe by being late or maybe by trying to chitchat with me for 20 whole minutes. I respect you, but when I am too friendly I don’t feel respected back. I need to learn to show my boundaries better and to be respectful of others without making them think I am their buddy.

I am not your buddy, you do not know me at all. Every time you talk I am asking you to shut up in my head, which sounds harsh. I am a person full of sadness and full of my own eff-ton of problems. I don’t want to hear all about yours. I want to smile and then go and fix my own problems. How do you draw these lines? How do you get people to accept just being neutral? How do you stop people from getting offended like an effing child?

So yeah I just don’t like overly friendly people. Be nice, yes, be friendly, yes. But know when to stop, know what to share with who. Know when you just leave someone alone and not get offended by it. Know when maybe someone just wants to be neutral with you and not buddies. Notice maybe their body language. Also don’t waste peoples time. I feel like a lot of people may not agree with me, like people who are late for work a lot. But you are disrespecting that person who just did their whole shift and really wanted to go home and you are making them wait and wait for you when they could and should be doing what they had planned after work. Put more effort into being on time for people.

My time is valuable to me. I don’t want to spend it waiting for someone who should have been more careful. Or chitchatting with someone about their life that is not my business for way too long. Let that person have their time, they have things to do, they have personal problems to deal with. Maybe just wish them luck on their day and show them respect by respecting their valuable time.

By the way I am talking about multiple people I have met who all seem to have all this in common, there is no one I am singling out. I think this is just like a personality type people have or something. And I just have the personality type that wants to be left alone without it being a big thing, and I wanna go home when I am supposed to go home.

– Emily Grace | eroxursox

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