Ranting.. I Care

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You can’t just ignore me. You can’t tell me you’re feeling like shit and then never reply. I’m worried about you. I care about you. When you ignore me all I can think about all day is, “what’s going on.”

You never texted me all morning and I spent 5 hours just staring at my phone, waiting. Yes I know I don’t have to do that. But I can’t help it. You always text me in the morning so I am going to wonder what’s going on when you don’t. And the most annoying part is you always have a good reason. You don’t text me all day and I spend the whole day wondering if you’re ok, if you’re breaking up with me and a thousand other things. And then you text me at the end of the day to say you were sleeping all day. And it’s like I can’t even get mad at you cause that’s kinda a good reason. But I spent the whole day with you on my mind, constantly checking my phone. Because I care and it sucks.

When someone cares about you it can be annoying. You have to talk to them more, you have to tell them what’s going on. It’s annoying, but if you want someone to care for you it’s what you have to do . If you want to be cared for, you have to care back. And part of caring back is telling them you are massively tired and may sleep all day so they’re not worried. It’s talking to them even when you feel like shit because they want to help and need to know you’re ok.

You can’t just ignore me. You can’t be in the middle of a conversation with me and then disappear for a few hours with no explanation. Even if you have a good reason. Like can you really not quickly say, “gotta go” before you disappear. And I don’t wanna be annoying and text you a bunch of times. It makes me feel like shit and it makes me feel needy. But what do you want me to do.. I care so I want to know what is going on. I want to know why you feel like shit. I want to know when you are sleeping all day. I want to know you are going out with friends and won’t be able to reply to me.

I don’t want to know these things because I’m a controlling, crazy chick. I want to know because I worry or feel hurt when you don’t reply. I want to know so I know everything’s ok. I don’t want to control you or be annoying. You do your life, just let me know what’s up. Cause I care and I worry about you.. And I worry about me, cause I have been burned many times and I will think you’re burning me too if you ignore me.

-Emily Grace (eroxursox)

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