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“It was her chaos that made her beautiful.” -Atticus

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Sad: Culture Shock

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July 23

I’m feel off right now guys. I don’t know why. Nothing is wrong, technically. And I am not pmsing. I just feel off. I don’t feel sad or mad or anything like that. Just off.

I called my mom and she said it could be “culture shock” from all the new-ness that is happening right now. She said that from big changes like I am having you can have a happy, excited stage and then get into a depressed, scared stage and then later even out. So that could be it I guess. But I kinda hope it’s not cause that means this off feeling could last for a bit and I don’t want that.

I think I am just tired. Life has been eventful and even when it’s not eventful it is still eventful. So I’m thinking my brain’s just tired today. It’s like some days your brain can handle more things and some days it can’t. Like I know even when I am very happy I can still get exhausted from doing happy things.

Also I do have depression. I am taking medication for it but I don’t really think it is working much. Depression could be just trying to rear it’s ugly head right now. But I am not going to let it. I am going to eat my cherries, and watch my tv show, and clothes shop online for pretty new clothes that I can finally afford. And I am going to say, eff you weird off feeling, I am going to be happy. 😛

July 27

The weird feeling hasn’t ended yet. But it has gotten worse. That^ is how I felt a few days ago. But now I am just feeling sad. I feel sad and depressed. Depression has reared it’s ugly head and it’s being mean to me. I think it definitely is the “culture shock” my mom talked about, from everything that’s going on. Moving, having a new job, being with people so much, everything. Nothing has changed in my life to cause this feeling, so I just think the sad stage of the culture shock is here for a bit. The stress and fear of all this moving and new life stuff has just finally kicked in.

Hoping I will even out soon though I’ll and feel a bit better. But right now I just want to cry and hug someone and breathe until this feeling goes away. Which it will, so everything will be ok. Just gonna hold on.. Cause everything is fine, it’s just all new and exhausting.

-Emily Grace (eroxursox)

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2 Responses to “Sad: Culture Shock

  • Keep breathing.

  • I have depression too and I totally get it. It will get better. Some days are worse than others but the season will pass.

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