Should I Move?

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So I cannot stop thinking about this. Should I move? Right now I live in a small town where my grandparents and cousins are. It’s the town I lived in all my preteen and teen years. I always hated it. So after high school I went off to college and didn’t enjoy being in a new place all alone. So I moved back to this small town and have been here for a year.

But should I move? Last summer my mother got married and moved to a city a few hours away. And me and my sister were thinking of moving this summer to that city to be closer to our mom. But plans changed and we forgot about that idea. And then I was thinking of moving again in like January when my life was going all to shit. But then I got a job so I decided to stay. But now my job isn’t going super well cause I am not getting enough hours. So my main reason to stay here has diminished.

So should I move? I could get a job in the city at a hotel like I have now. I am a housekeeper now so I don’t think I would have too much trouble getting another housekeeping job because I have experience. And then I could get a second job because housekeeping is more of a part time thing. And I could find a decent apartment or something. And it could be good.

Moving is hard though. I would have to apply to new places and talk to people and such. And I would have to tell my boss I am quitting and give two weeks notice. And I would have to tell my landlord I am moving and give them a months notice. Then I would have to find a new place to live in the city. And then I would have to pack everything I own. Then I would have to move it to this new place. Then I would have to unpack all of it. And then I would have to go to a new job and learn new things and meet new people. And I would have to find a new grocery store and drugs store. And try to make new friends (which I will fail at). So yeah, moving is hard man.

But it could be worth it. Right now my life is fine. I have sort of ish friends. I have a fine place to live. I have a fine job. I am making almost not enough money to live. My life is very kinda satisfactory right now I guess. Which for me is great because my life has been a shit show before. But should I strive to have a more then satisfactory life? I kinda think I should. I tell other people to try to have wonderful lives.

The thing is changes like this could go really great or not great. And that’s a risk and that’s scary. The last thing I want is my life to be a shit show again. I am so glad I got past that. I don’t want it to happen again. But should I just live a satisfactory life forever because I am scared to take a risk that could end up great or not great. Risks are hard, but I think they are important for life and for potential happiness. We should have happy lives. We should try to do what we can to make life better. And maybe moving would make life better for me.

The thing is sometimes I take stupid risks. Like a week ago, I got my mom to give me a haircut and give me bangs and layers and it did not go well. My mom is not hairdresser and it wasn’t a smart risk. Now I wear my hair in a ponytail all the time. So I kinda feel like I don’t trust myself. I don’t trust myself to make a decision like this cause sometimes I take stupid risks. Which is fine for little things like my hair but not fine for big things like moving. So this could be a smart risk or a stupid risk. So what should I do? Should I move? I need someone else’s opinion cause I’m just me and I need help.

If someone tells me to move and gets all enthusiastic and says, “yes move, tell your boss, look at places, do it!” Then I think I will feel really good and get my butt in gear and be gone in a month. I like a little bit of excitement, so there will be fear but if someone is helping cheer me on then lets do it! But if someone tells me not to do it.. I actually think I might not be ok with that. I think I might be disappointed. So does that mean something? But then again I was disappointed when someone told me not to do the haircut and I did it anyway and they were right. So idk.. Should I move? Someone tell me what you think.

-Emily Grace (eroxursox)

One Response to “Should I Move?

  • Stephanie
    3 years ago

    Yes, move. We live in a shity small town and you know we do. Move you waited a long time too, and honestly, you probably will do better somewhere else. Of course, I will miss you and others will too but I think moving is what’s best for you. In our town there isn’t many jobs you are lucky to have had more than one place call you up so go move! screw this shity town. I will manage without you.

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