Teenage Friends Suck

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F*ck I am so bad at having friends. But like also people suck, so is it really my fault. Well maybe yes is what I am realizing. Like right now while I am kind of drunk, lol.

I have had some very very close friends in my life. When I was a teenager mostly, there was much more forced socialization back then. But none of those close friends I had are still my friends. That is because they did something to massively hurt me and so I didn’t want to be their friend anymore. Like I did and I would try a little but I would also push them away because I did not trust them,

But like being a teenager is hard, like hard as f*ck man. No one envy’s teenagers, cause it sucks, hormones and shit. But I am realizing that these people who hurt me and I pushed away. They were a teenager, they were having just as hard of a time surviving as I was. And maybe I needed to have more sympathy for that.

I really hurt someone who was my friend in high school. My excuse for it is that I was also having a very hard time and I needed to do what I needed to do to survive. Maybe that is how these other friends of mine felt too. And I just never let them back in because I was so hurt. It didn’t occur to me that it was just because of immaturity that they did what they did. but I was also too immature at the time to get past it.

Now even as an adult sometimes these old best friends try to reach out to me and I instantly say no. Because I still feel so hurt. But like dude I have zero friends and it isn’t fun. Maybe I could stop being soo picky. And maybe not continue to push people away for something they did as a dumbass teenager.

But dude honestly, lets be not mature for a second, as I am drunk. And man I am mad. I feel like some people don’t seem to think there are repercussions to their actions. Like if you ruin the last 3 months of high school for me by ignoring me over nothing and making me be friendless when I thought we were like sisters. Yeah that is hard to get past. Then you add me on Facebook and like my Instagram photos as if we are just chill. I am not chill, I want to say f*ck you to your dumbass face. You ruined my life for awhile, and yes maybe I am not perfect either but I do not feel I deserved that. We could have talked it out. So like f*ck you honestly. Your actions effed someone else over a whole freakin’ lot, you could have thought about that a little. But then again I come back to the fact that you were a stupid teenager just as I was. So maybe you also know it was a mistake and feel bad, maybe that’s why you like my photos.

I don’t know, like my heart and my logic fight here. I hate being hurt my stupid ass humans. But like I am sure I hurt people also. We’re all stupid, me, you, mostly the teenagers.  But then we should forgive them right, cause like shit was hard back then. We were and are all just trying to survive. But like maybe we could survive without effing over other people. I guess that is maturity that it takes to learn that.

But lets get back to drunk me that wants to say f*ck you and message you a middle finger emoji, (said that in front of my mom, she did not like it).

– Emily Grace | eroxursox

One Response to “Teenage Friends Suck

  • Nope I don’t like it. Wish you could say other words other then crude ones. I understand your feelings your frustration your sadness but maybe learn some other words to express yourself because there r other words that are better than F***. Words that express your heart and feelings better. Like it really hurt me. Frustrated me. Killed me. Etc. It would take more effort.

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